For the longest time, every day Gwen would grab my arm and say, "Mrs. Lauren, can I eat you??" and pretend to bite me. This was a running joke she did for FOUR months, and expected me to laugh with her each time about it.
Kevin (as he writhes around on the floor): "I Can't move! Please pull me to my desk!"
Me: "Kevin, you are moving right now!"
Kevin: "No, my legs don't work."
So I pulled him across the floor to the listening station.
Kevin: "Mrs. Lauren Taxi!!!!!!"
Gwen (making one hand into the shape of half a heart): "Mrs. Lauren and..." (making the other hand into the other half of the heart) "Mrs. Kris..." (then putting the hands together in a whole heart) "...is this!!!"
My students sit on a carpet for English time and I sit in front of them in a chair. One day when I moved the chair closer, Lenny said, "Oh! Mrs. Lauren is 3-D!!!!"
Me (giving a spelling word): "Who can tell me a sentence with the word 'kisses'?"
The whole class puts their hands up and some students giggle.
Me: "Who can tell me a sentence that isn't about me or Mr. Kris?"
All the hands go down.
Gwen held a baby bunny up to the window of an English class and spoke in a high 'bunny' voice, "I want to learn English!"
Brett wrote: "Mrs. Lauren is nice. But sometimes she is crazy."
Me (during spelling). "The next word is 'kisses'. It is funny when the dog kiss the cat."
Anita: "I think Mr. Kris is the dog and Mrs. Lauren is the cat."
When we were learning about Scandinavia, Kevin pointed to Finland and said, "Santa Claus lives here!" I thought this was hilarious, but found out the next day that Japanese people (as well as Scandinavians) believe that Santa lives in Finland and not the North Pole.
Brett: "Mrs. Lauren, I am clean-upping the game."
I tried to teach two of my students a line from the movie elf and tell it to another teacher when he was teasing them about something. The couldn't quite get it. Instead of "You sit on a throne of lies!" they told him "You sit on a throne of eyes!"
One day before leaving for a field trip, I asked Kris to sweep my room. While I was talking to him, Lenny ran circles around us, pretending to take pictures of us like the paparazzi.
Erik: "Where is Brett?"
Christina: "He is gone. He is dead."
My students have a sick sense of humor that I'm pretty sure they got from Greg or me.
Mr. Greg: "Why does the balloon float up?"
Brett: "Because air is go-upping!"
Kevin: "Mrs. Lauren, your cheeks are red! Are you thinking about Mr. Kris?!"
Everyday for the last two months, Kevin has come into class with a neck warmer pulled over his face and pretends to be a robber. He takes something and runs out of the room, saying, "I am the robber!" and he won't come back until I pretend to call the police.
Kevin (drawing a picture of a sword): "This is Peter Pan's sword."
Then the whole class started laughed and said, "Peter Pan's? Peed her pants!!! Peed her pants!!?"
Greg and I taught our soccer-obsessed students to play basketball. One day, as we were playing, we notice Lenny just standing under the hoop while everyone else and the ball were on the other side of the court. "Lenny, what are you doing," Greg asked. Waving his hands around, Lenny said, "Guard! Guard!". We tried to explain that there are no goalies in basketball, but he didn't seem to get it.
Playing kickball with my students is like watching three year olds play soccer: they run around and don't seem to get the concept. Many times, my students all fight over being able to touch the ball, no matter how many home runs they let happen. Other times, they just aren't that into it. When I was getting ready to pitch the ball, I noticed that 4 of the kids on my team were walking around the outfield, staring up at the sunny, blue sky, and pretending to grab at something. "What are you doing?" I asked them. "We are catching the rain!" There was no rain that day.
One day during English time on the carpet, Lenny leaned forward and sniffed my shoe and cried out, "Oh, stinky salad!"
Another teacher was teaching his students about making comparisons. A few days later one of his students came in from playtime and said, "I'm hot as hell!"
When one of Kris' students had wet hair from playtime, the students smoothed it down and flipped up the front and said, "I'm Mr. Kris!"
During my high school class, I asked my 8th grade girls to tell me something that was 'jumbo'. One girl said, "My English teacher is jumbo." I stared at her with wide eyes and said her name in shock. She said, "No, really, she is jumbo!" I calmly looked at her said, "Erica, I can't believe you would say that about me." Then her face got bright red and she shook her head and started bowing as she explained, "No! No! Not you! My English teacher at my Japanese school!" Phew!
Greg taught his students to yell, "Mrs. Lauren, stop disrupting our learning time!" when I come into their classroom. Meanwhile, all my students beg Greg to come into our classroom.
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| I tried to teach Greg's students to say, "Stop brainwashing us" (in response to his teaching them to say "Stop disrupting our learning time), but as you can see from the picture, my plans failed. His student wrote, "Mrs. Lauren is brainwashing with her students." |
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| For one a game of word Jenga, students had to say a sentence for a word they picked and then write the sentence. Look at the second sentence. |
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