Every year for the past 3 years, one of the families from the church brings a mouth-watering meal to the student ministry staff as a Christmas present. It is one of the highlights of the Christmas season for me - a tradition I always anticipate with joy. Not only do I get to eat delicious food, but it's also a great time to connect with an awesome family.
This year, as I sat around a table eating second and third helpings of brunch while talking and laughing with the other student min team and two great students, I had a moment where it sank in that this would be my last year to participate in this tradition. :-( Definitely a sad moment. I really am going to miss connecting with students the way I have been able to over the past 3 years. I will still be able to build relationships with students as a teacher, but in a completely different way. This is the part of my job I have always loved more than anything else.
As the late morning progressed into afternoon, some cool things happened. One of the students who is now a senior and has grown up in the ministry brought 3 big crosses that he made for his Eagle Scout project to the student chapel. Those crosses are so impressive -- not just because of how amazing they look or even how hard the student worked at making them, but because they represent how invested he is in the ministry and how much God has done in his life over the past 7 years. He could have chosen to do ANYTHING for his project; yet, he chose to contribute something to a place where he has experienced growth, love, and God at work in his life. I see this not just in the crosses but in the way he serves in the middle school program faithfully and joyfully. It is cool to see God at work in his life.
Another cool moment happened when the other student started pointing to different places in the chapel and recalling memories that happened there. "Brandon, where you're standing is where I spit crickets!" She said. "And if you move forward 3 feet that's where, on my 7th grade birthday, I bobbed for turds [snickers bars in mt dew in a clean toilet bowl] and everyone sang happy birthday to me and I hated it."
"Do you remember that Lauren?" she asked, turning to me.
"Yes - but I know you secretly enjoyed it," I said.
"And in that corner," she continued, "Is where I beat Bryce at a coke-chugging contest and I still hold it over his head to this day!"
"That was for Battle of the Sexes!" I recalled. She continued with a few other memories of fun moments from youth group that stuck out in her mind -- including catching earthworms in a big gulp cup that a boy from her grade spit out of his mouth during one game.
Hearing her recalled those memories warmed my heart. You see, I was there for most of those memories and often times I planned those games. And almost every night of youth group I walked away thinking, "That wasn't fun enough...that didn't go as well as I wanted...I wasn't very funny...I'm not good at this." But really, now that I look back on my time as a youth leader (and as I heard this student look back on that time), I realize that I really was pretty good at my job. Not because someone remembered a game I planned, but because, though I was harder on myself than I needed to be, God helped me to create a place where students' walls were broken down through fun moments, meaningful relationships, a safe community, and Biblical truths spoken in a way that connected to their lives.
And that shows me that I don't have to be perfect to be used by God or to make a difference or to be good at what I do. I don't have to be so hard on myself. I can and will celebrate how God is using me.
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